I believed the moment I uttered those words I would be free.
The anger & frustration hasn't escaped me yet.
The fear and the guilt live just below the surface.
They put you away yet I've been locked in a cage.
You invade mt thoughts & continue to rape my mind.
& in the darkest moments before I wake I am once again your victim.
I feel the shame & vicious guilt that hides in the corners of my mind.
It still rings in my ears the admission of your guilt, yet you so no wrong in your actions.
I prayed for your death & walk around with my head down in defeat.
I am caged, plagued, scared that I will see you again.
I breath and feel the weight of my anger rattle my ribs.
In my mind I have killed you a thousand times.
How am I supposed to walk with my head held high when Inside I die every night.
I have spent a lifetime enslaved to anger, fear & guilt.
Lately I'm banging my head against the steal bars begging for guilt.
You've taken so much & I refuse to give more power to you.
Screaming in the middle of the night,
Cries for my freedom & needing to be free of my guilt.
Why am I still fearing for my life?
I lost a part of myself to you, I want it back.
When I find it will I finally be free of you?
Will forgiveness give me the key to my unwanted prison?
Would confessions of my sins find whats left of my innocents?
Does this sentence ever end?
Will I ever walk free again?
When will I no longer suffocate once I those doors open?
Does the weight of my fears ever become one I can bare?
Does this suffering have an end?